happiness by choice

"Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

- Abraham Lincoln

I never understood why people are depressed most their lives. They think that they can't find happiness no matter where they look. I on the other hand believe in what Mr. Lincoln quoted. People can be as happy as they choose to be. It all depends on whether or not they are actually willing to be happy. Do they really want to be happy? Or are they just saying they want that?

I understand that there are times when people are generally in a sad mood, I have been there. The fact is that it is what they choose to do about it is what really shows who their true character is. I like to call these down times "brick walls". Everyone is faced with some sort of obstacle in their life and we can either find away to get on the other side of that wall or choose to turn around.

Walls are nothing but every other obstacle in our path and while some may be taller than others, there is always a way to get through them. It is just based on how determined we are to face them that really matters. Behind that wall opens up so many more opportunities for us and if we choose to turn around, then why even pretend to be happy.

I know for the longest time I was pretending to be happy. I didn't want to let go of the side of the wall I was on. Honestly, I was scared. Scared of not being in the place that I was so used to. The fear of not knowing can be terrifying, but once faced, I realized that I was opened up to a whole new world. I felt free in a way. Something that I have not felt in a long time. Free from guilt, free from fear, free from what people wanted me to do, I decided that it was time I thought for myself.

I have always been the type of person who was very selfless, and that is not a bad thing. But I do see now that you do need to think about yourself in the process. Otherwise, without you, who is left? no one! I got so caught up in trying to be a person that I wasn't that I forgot what it was like for me to be myself. I know, it's a horrible thing, but it's true. Finally now I am able to take flight and be me.

My wall may not be as big as other people's but I do know it took a lot of me to get through it. My friends were always there for me, even if they didn't know that they were at all. I wasn't telling them the whole truth, I was hiding it in the shadows, hoping that it would just fall behind. Funny thing about shadows is that they never leave your side. I learned to be more open and include my friends into what was happening. Once I did that, all around me began to shine and my shadow was gone. What a great feeling.

My shadow was my wall that I had to face. And once I did, that wall crumbled into rubble. When the dust cleared...I was facing a new world, a door was opened. A door that so far has led me to a much happier place.

On the other side were a job, more fun with my friends, new friends, fun activities (dodgeball and baseball), and people who I hoped to get to know more. And you know what, if things don't work out then hey that's just another wall for me to tear through, no worries. I know now that I have the courage to face them.

So don't be a push over, get past that wall. Climb it, dig under it, go head on and break through it. Rent a wrecking ball and tear through it it you must. Get through that wall and see what kind of person you really are. You'll be surprised in how great it feels to get past it and what is on the other side waiting for you.

I found my happiness. What is your decision?