I dont really know what made me do this but somehow i found my way here....actually i take that back, i read something once and it got me thinking about forgiveness and how I am a whole new me! Im not trying to preach or anything...just thinking out loud mostly.
just this past summer i have changed dramatically for the greater! I know many people knew and saw how i was back when i was back in high school or even a freshmen in college for that matter but I have changed a lot and although i still am the same old me...i am a completely different me at the same time (if that makes any sense haha). Over the summer I had became closer to God more than i ever have my entire life! And i feel so AMAZING now because of it! :)...I am not a superchristian either but i am saying i do believe in Jesus and that I love and have full trust in him...i realize now that he has always been there for me. Even when i believed that there was no hope, he was still watching over me and all that happened for a reason to make become the person who i am today. To tell you the truth...when i got college, im not even sure if i believed in God or not...i never went to church or anything cuz when i was younger my church kicked me out cuz i missed too many classes. They said dont come back so i said i fine, i wont be back then!...I had almost lost all faith but its funny how things turn out cuz now i love church! :) and I look back now and see how crappy i truly was and how much happier i am now! It is a feeling beyond belief.
Im not saying that i am perfect now or anything at all like that cuz no one is perfect. We all have our struggles cuz i know i sure do, there is no point in saying that i dont have any. What i am saying is that why not aim for something great and try to be the best it is you can be. That is my goal. I know i can try to be the best person i can be but i know it will never be perfect. Hey i know i will try and i know i will fail, shoot when i fail...i fail! haha. I have always thought of myself to be a screw up...just cuz of the fact that i thought that no matter what good thing i had goin, i would find some way to mess it up. I literally would think that i wasn meant to be happy at all just cuz i thought that i needed certain people or materials in my life to gain that happiness...but i realize now that I really cant control all of that and really even though you think its the end of the world...its not! (i know i know....everyone says that haha) but it is so true! you may have something amazing in your life one day and then the next...its gone! and you might think it is all over but really in the end...you still right here and the only thing you can do in the end is smile and continue with your journey. Well that is what i have learned anyway...as my buddy Pumba says in the Lion King (which is the greatest disney movie ever!) hakuna matata, it means no worries ;) haha...really i think that is truely the best way to go in life because really in the end...things always have a way of working themselves out...it may take sometime but really you only have so much control, the rest you have to give up to the Big Guy.
We seem to be very unwilling to wait for Gods timing and for Gods method to meet our needs and our desires. We prefer to have it done our way, on our time. Yet, Isaiah 55:8-9 says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts," Invariably, Gods method of meeting my needs and desires is different from my method. We may not always get what we WANT, but thats only cuz we cant see what we NEED.
I am learning new and exciting things each and every day and i am lovin it always! I know i have talked about growing a lot in these past years but i dont intend to stop there anytime soon...there is always room for growth, you should never be content with how things are going...strive for the best and dont give up!
One thing that i struggled with was forgiveness. I am a stubborn guy and it is hard to say that i am wrong or forgive someone who has hurt me...i almost would never forgive someone if they were to cross me. But now i realize that after all the stupid and wrong things that i have done in my life....and for God to still forgive me...well i have no authority to judge and not forgive. I now find myself praying for people that i do not even like! People that have hurt me and people who definitely do not deserve to be forgiven (in my opinion) but i feel that i have grown so much and for me to be able to do something like this and as hard as it is to forgive...I am able to gather the strength i need through God and do it! And to tell you the truth...i feel so much better about it because i would always bottle it up and it would eat at me inside...so i am loving the new me! :)
So i am not really sure why or what made me write about all this...but yeahhh i just a little late night thinking haha...i couldnt get all my thoughts out but i sure got a couple of them...ok im out!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment